Guarded

Guarded.

I live a guarded life… Don’t tell.

To survive, DO. NOT. TELL.

It’s curious how this is learned.

Hold everything in.  

Telling isn’t safe. 

Telling will hurt.

Telling means whatever you share will flay open your soul; crush your spirit; somehow it will be held against you.

Telling will be used.

Telling will be used to emotionally manipulate.

Telling will be used to harm, hurt, wound, control.

Telling oftens turns into a criticism or an argument.

Telling will be used to prove you wrong. The person you tell becomes a “right fighter.” 

Telling will be a misunderstanding…a misunderstood word; a misunderstood meaning.

A twisted meaning. A twisted truth.

A darkness.

Keep your secrets, sorrows, fears, questions, curiosities and joys close to your heart. Closed in the depth of your own mind.

This. My childhood, my adolescence and most of my adult life.